— By Lynne Azarchi, Special to the Times of Trenton, Saturday, April 02, 2011
Can you imagine taking a video of someone being hurt, embarrassed or humiliated? Well, kids in the Lone Star State did.
Last fall, 18 boys in Texas sexually assaulted an 11-year-old girl. It is believed that one or two were the initial assailants, supported by other male high school/middle school bystanders who watched, and then, appallingly, filmed the assault on their phones. Then, even more appallingly, they shared videos of the victim being assaulted with their pals back at school.
The famous line from the musical “South Pacific” intones: “You have to be carefully taught.” And indeed, our kids are. Either online or through watching our top-rated reality shows and sitcoms, children and teens learn how to humiliate and alienate others.
Too many of our kids are in a “School for Bullies” pipeline, emulating what they see on television or on YouTube. They are trained by TV, often overtly — being coached by “laugh tracks” and a noticeable absence of any consequences for “asserting” themselves at the expense of others. They learn to be callous, to make fun of others, to watch animals and humans being injured — too often, having it all camouflaged as entertainment.
We tell our kids that academics and grades are the essential elements of success, but when it comes to character education and human decency, we tell ourselves that we will deal with that later. We sanction school cultures driven by avoidance, following their lead when we’re told to focus on grades and testing instead of the behavioral challenges created by bullies. We tolerate school cultures bereft of character education and diversity appreciation except for a few posters on the wall and a few assembly programs. Do you even remember anything you did in assembly programs?
We quietly watch violations happening at other schools — kids being sexually assaulted, gay kids being physically and verbally abused and ultimately committing bullycide. How awful that a word for bully-triggered suicides had to be invented for youth who take their own lives because they lose hope for a solution….